Cell phone charging “station”, some armchair philosophy (or maybe sociology?), and mini-freak-out

Here are the pics, if you just want to see something that takes 30 seconds to design and 3 hours to execute:

And here comes the armchair philosophy, if you’re interested in that.

Duality is one of the most basic concepts we have. Night and day. Light and dark. Jekyll and Hyde. Waves and particles. Tie-dye hearts and center-of-mass rifle targets.

Most of the time, I destroy things. Everything I touch falls apart in some way. Relationships (platonic, romantic, and familial), electronics, birdhouses, books, all become fubar in my hands. I am King Midas’s antithesis. I have accepted that and made it part of me.

At the same time, I create things. Beautiful things in my eyes, but to some people, they’re ugly. I accept that, I don’t care what people think about those things; I have made so much more that I haven’t posted because I know most people can’t find the beauty in the things I do. The grayish-green of the clouds before a big storm, one downed tree that took out several others, X-rays, graffiti, the contrast of blood on pale skin (don’t read into that. I wouldn’t purposely hurt anyone), rain hitting the eroding bricks outside my dorm – all these are so beautiful to me, but plenty of people don’t see it: “A storm’s coming in.” “That tree was too tall.” “Stupid hoodlums.” “You’re sick for thinking that’s beautiful.”

Duality. It all comes back to duality, all of it. One death of one tree causes several deaths and makes the life around it that much more intoxicating. The gray of the clouds makes the blue that much more exciting. The entirety of your body reduced to a few white lines on a dark gray background and the dark maroon of blood seeping out and staining skin, the fragility and resiliency of life captured in a single image. The spray-paint proudly defiant of the institutionalized concrete walls. Water destroying pathways, suddenly no longer a benign resource but a destructive force.

Every so often, I manage to accidentally show this in some way, shape, or form. It doesn’t happen often, and it’s usually a result of an incident involving Google Image Search and the terms “life”, “death”, and “embroidery”.

This particular image comes from a zoomed-out picture.

That’s a center-of-mass target next to a heart-tie-dye cell phone charging station with a polka-dot ribbon. Destruction and creation in a single image. My personality, captured for the world to see.

These past few weeks have been exceedingly strange for me. I was asked out seriously for the first time.

I’ve been asked out before, but it was never because the guy liked me. In middle school, it was to watch me trip over my words and fumble around for a nice way to phrase it. In high school, it was because some of the boys played a game where they would see who could get rejected most in a single school day. Eventually, I automatically assumed that any time someone asked me out, it was part of a game. And I was always right.

So this bout of being seriously liked is strange, and weird, and I’m not entirely sure how to deal with it. I told him I didn’t feel the same way about him, but now what?

I’m still adjusting to college. This is one the hardest, strangest things I’ve ever done.

I’m still adjusting to life without a back brace, and I haven’t worn one for six years. SIX. YEARS. Think about what you were doing six years ago, think about who you were. I wake up disturbingly often to panic attacks because I’m not wearing a brace, and I tear the room apart looking for it before I remember that I’m eighteen, not twelve, and it’s been years since my back surgery, and what is wrong with me for not knowing it by now? And if it’s taking me this long to adjust to THAT change, how long will it take me to adjust to THIS change?

So, yeah. Duality. Health and sickness, life and death, night and day, tie-dye hearts and shooting targets. It all comes back sooner or later.

Stay golden, everyone, and send me some good karma.

Stupid economics definitions! (Not a craft, just funny/sad)

I was reading my econ textbook (Case & Fair, Principles of Microeconomics, 7th ed., 2004) and found myself staring in disbelief at some of the words defined.

You ready? Some of these are truly pathetic.

Scarce: Limited

I think the scariest thing about this one is that they thought we got to college without learning that definition.

Descriptive economics: The compilation of data that describe theories and facts

No, really? I thought descriptive economics was about making baseless claims. You mean the point is to describe an economic system?

Variable: A measure that can change from time to time or from observation to observation

Again, they thought we got to college without knowing this.

Empirical economics: The collection and use of data to test economic theories

We need empirical evidence to back up empirical claims? That’s just messed up, right there.

Efficiency: …produc[ing] what people want at the least possible cost

I thought efficiency was about being wasteful. No? All right, then, moving on…

Equity: Fairness

The third one on the list that makes it for the sheer “How stupid do you think we are?” factor.

Economic growth: An increase in the total output of an economy

…You aren’t supposed to use the word you’re describing in the definition of that word.

Also, self-descriptive terms FTW.

And that was just the first chapter: Introduction.

Let’s see if chapter 2 is any better.

Doesn’t look like it.

Factors of production (or factors): The inputs in the process of production

Outputs: Usable products

Production: The process that transforms scarce resources into usable goods and services

They define opportunity cost again.

Consumer goods: Goods prepared for immediate consumption

Production efficiency: A mix of outputs is produced at least cost.

How I imagine the discussion over this went:

Case: Production proceeds efficiently? We need a special name for that, something easy to remember…I know! Production efficiency!

Fair: Do you really think eliminating that one word will make it easier to remember?

Case: Look at what we put in the first chapter! And we’re in the 7th edition!

Fair: True. And it will make it thicker, so we can sell it for more!

Case: I knew there was a reason we teamed up!

I don’t actually know them. Honestly. Take the above with a grain of salt. Actually, make that a Dead Sea’s worth.

Man, they really like comparing Kansas and Ohio’s wheat and corn production.

Just hit the third time they compared KS and Ohio’s respective crops.

And the second time they define economic growth.

Funny quote: “Give a man a shovel and he can dig a bigger hole; give him a steam shovel and wow.” (pg. 32)

Definitions of different economic systems. Again, they thought we got through high school without knowing them?

Wage rates: The prices of various kinds of labor

Income: The amount a household earns each year

And that is chapter two.

Please note, I left out a lot of definitions because the definitions made sense and didn’t insult the intelligence of the student who were forced to buy the book for class. Also, this was meant lightheartedly and sarcastically, not as an attack on Case, Fair, or anyone else involved in the production of the book.

All of these were found in the first 37 pages. 20 odd definitions and repeated examples in less than 40 pages.

When I recover from this attack of my faith in humanity, I’ll read the next three chapters for the test Thursday/Friday (haven’t decided when I’m gonna take it yet. Leaning towards Thursday.)

Bracelet: Glass Pearls and Beads

This morning, I made a bracelet because I already learned the 16 phyla of the protists and plants and I wasn’t awake enough to learn the 39 sounds of the English language. (Seriously, dudes. Kill me now.)

Anyway, I used a string of glass pearls from Wal-Mart and some beads and wire from Michael’s, and this was the result!Just in a straight line, nothing special.

You have no idea how small this is because it’s zoomed in so much.

With a pen for scale. (Also my fingers.) This is when I realized that my wrist is TINY. Seriously, that’s a little bit too big for me.

And an action shot! (Action. Tee hee.)

Thanks for looking! Stay golden.

Upcoming project: crayon art

I can’t remember where I found this exact picture – maybe it was on Craftster, maybe it was on a different craft blog, maybe I just Googled “stuff to put on my depressingly white dorm walls.” In any event, I’ve seen literally dozens of variations on the same theme. Google Image “melted crayon wall art” and you’ll get the idea.

So I’m gonna make it as soon as I get to Target and pick up foam-core board and crayons.

And now I have to go back to learning the 27 different consonants and 12 different vowels in English for my Language midterm/reading 6 chapters in “The Divine Dramatist”/studying for bio test.

 

UPDATE: Found the original picture! http://www.craftster.org/forum/index.php?topic=389982.0&utm_medium=Email&utm_source=ExactTarget&utm_campaign=weeklynewsletter

Spiral ring

I Stumbled onto this tutorial http://www.instructables.com/id/A-Simple-Wire-Ring to make a wire ring. I used a thinner wire, so it was much easier to bend. I didn’t have a ring mandrel, so I found a suitable alternative in my room.

The lid of an old lotion bottle, which was slightly too large but still useable.

Anyway, here’s the rings I made. One had a single loop, and one had a double.

Single-loop ring

Single-loop ring. Also, I have a weirdly-shaped hand.

So yeah. Totes go look up that tutorial by totemic on Instructables, because it is AWESOME.

Stay golden, everyone.

College art contest!

The college I’m going to is running an art contest. Can you guys see where this is going?

*

*

*

*

(Go ahead. Guess.)

*

*

*

*

   
(Yes, that is my open Facebook in the second picture.)

If you couldn’t guess that it would have something to do with needlework, shame on you!

Yet another parody of “keep calm and carry on” to add to the list of them.

Banner-stalking, for those of you who don’t know, refers to refreshing the list of class openings until a class you want has an open seat and you can jump in it before someone else does.

The fabric was cut from a T-shirt I got during orientation that I, personally, would never wear. Mostly because the color hurts my eyes.

Because I can: process pic.

Taken roughly 3 hours after tracing out the pattern.

Total time taken: About 4 hours.

Final, before I cut it out/took it from the hoop.

So, I’m entering this into the art contest and hoping to win the $250 prize. Wish me luck; I’ll probably need it.

Stay golden.

IPA embroidery

It’s 5 o’clock on a Friday. Like every other college student in existence, I’m procrastinating.

I happen to procrastinate in a dorkier way than most.

So, I bring you . . . IPA embroidery!

   
                             Two pictures of the whole thing.

   
Close-ups of the names.

For those of you unfamiliar with IPA (*cough* everyone *cough*), IPA stands for International Phonetic Alphabet. Each sound has its own symbol. Those two names are “Addie” and “Miranda,” two girls on my hall. I’m probably going to be doing more with it, just because some of the symbols are SO FREAKING COOL and really fun to write/embroider.

Now, unfortunately, I have to actually do some work. >.< Bye! [Or baI, as the case may be. :)]

Embroidery + Explosives!

For a blog that bills itself on needlework, woodwork, baking, cooking, and explosives, I have been stunningly deficient on both explosives and woodwork (although I guess you could consider that redone wall cabinet woodwork? Maybe? If you stretch the definition a bit?). I can’t do much with either, since I’m at a college that barely allows POCKETKNIVES (pocketknives, y’all. Knives that fit in a pants pocket), but that doesn’t mean I can’t share ways to make harmless explosives.

Yes, harmless explosives exist. Or rather, explosives that are harmless unless you are truly, truly stupid.

But first, here’s the embroidery, for those of you not-so-into the whole explosives-with-purple-smoke-with-things-under-the-kitchen-sink-and-medicine-cabinet thing.

Based on a design at Urban Threads.

Close-up of the cauliflower!

First time embroidering (say “embroidering” three times fast, I dare you. Make your roommate think you’ve gone crazy, like my Study of Language teacher keeps trying to make us do) with regular sewing thread. Purple, in case you couldn’t tell. More precisely, Coats & Clark All-purpose CA00011. That means I couldn’t do split stitch for the circle, so I ended up doing small backstitch. Also, pencil =/= a good tracing tool.

Explosives time!

Ammonium iodide is a fairly harmless explosive. That being said, be smart about it. Don’t spread it over the steps of the local police department and wait for the purple smoke to go up, because that’s straight-up stupid. Also, don’t use it near anything flammable; though I’m fairly sure it won’t catch anything on fire, no point in being stupid.

Seriously. I know I’m beating you over the head with the stupid thing, but I’m kinda afraid someone’s going to skip right over the warnings and throw this in somebody’s face and go “But OYGYummy/Rachel told me it was harmless!” FAIRLY. FAIRLY. MOSTLY HARMLESS. NOT COMPLETELY HARMLESS. IT’S A MILD EXPLOSIVE.

I am not responsible for anything you do with this knowledge. Should you decide to use it for July 4th, it makes an impressive smoke display. Also, don’t inhale the fumes because you can. I’m pretty sure they won’t get you high and they might actually cause lung damage.

So, how-to guide for a mild explosive (and a story behind it):

Mix saturated ammonia with iodine crystals until no more iodine will dissolve. Pour off the excess ammonia and let sit until dry. WHEN IT IS WET, IT WILL NOT EXPLODE. WHEN IT IS DRY, A DUST MOTE WILL SET IT OFF. BE CAREFUL. I would suggest spreading it where you want it to be before it’s dry, then setting it off with a long stick. Or, throw them around like the pop-bombs you get for fourth of July.

That’s all there is to it. I probably won’t share how to make any of the more powerful explosives – thermite, napalm, etc. (which are really easy to make and, again, can be made with common household materials) – because I don’t really want a bunch of people making them and going “Here’s where I got it! Blame her!”

Anyway, here’s the story:

My father used to work for a defense contractor. His group decided to pull a prank. They set this up and poured it over the entrance to the cafeteria before everyone left for the night. The next morning, everyone freaked out over something like this making its way into a federal building. Don’t know why.

Maybe now that I’ve been writing for a little but, I’ll be able to write the paper I can’t figure out how to start.

Ta ta! Remember: ammonium iodide is an entertaining material, but is still vaguely dangerous. Don’t be an idiot.

Stay golden. (Or purple, as the case may be.)

 

 

Music heart embroidery

This is why I normally don’t freehand anything.

Lessons learned:

French knot (the dots next to the bass clef)

Never freehand

Tighten fabric in embroidery hoop before drawing/tracing

How to use an embroidery hoop (first embroidery using one)

Never drop the needle into the handle part of a roll-around backpack. It’s never coming out, and now I need to get a new needle. Oh, well – I’m teaching my friend to embroider, so we need to hit up Target anyway.

 

 

 

Kitchen Experiment: Pineapple Upside-Down Cake

I ❤ pineapple. I ❤ cake. I ❤ pineapple upside-down cake.

This is a really easy recipe.

(I have never made it quite this way before. When I have it out of the oven and taste-tested by the girls on my college dorm hall, I will update.:) )

Needed:

1 box of white cake mix (Target was out of white, so I will use vanilla) and oil/eggs to make it

1 can of sliced pineapple* (Target was also out of sliced pineapple, so I’ll be using crushed) in its own juice. NO SYRUP.

Cherries (optional; I use them when I bake for my family, but I personally ABHOR them)

Brown sugar

Vegetable oil

First, preheat oven to whatever the box of cake mix tells you.

Then, grease a 9×13 pan with the vegetable oil. (The Dollar Tree I went to didn’t have 9x13s, so I’ll be using a casserole pan.)

Coat the bottom of your pan liberally with brown sugar – don’t be stingy! We want a nice caramelization. (Maillard reaction, for my nerdily-inclined readers.)

Layer the pineapple. If using sliced pineapple and cherries, put one cherry in the hole in the middle of each ring.

Make cake mix according to box directions EXCEPT replace as much water as possible with pineapple juice.

Cover brown sugar and pineapple with cake batter. Cook according to box directions or until toothpick/knife/finger inserted in center comes out clean.

I know the cake is good when made with sliced pineapple. With crushed pineapple…time will tell.

Pics and reactions when I get this made tonight. (Of course, my Target-clearance-section $1 bowl broke, so I don’t know if I’ll be able to make it…I’ll fake it.)

 

10:30 UPDATE! WOO!

So I ended up using a Tupperware container to mix everything in and a plastic measuring spoon to crack the eggs. That went about as well as you’d expect.

On the bright side, everyone seemed to like it and I got a (hideously unhealthy) dinner out of it! Here are the promised pictures.

Looks like a bad-tasting yeasty bread, doesn’t it?   Look! You can see the part that’s supposed to be seen when it’s flipped! (I didn’t have cooling racks, so it wasn’t flipped. Whatever.)

 

I actually carried that full pan all the way up and down my dorm steps to try to get rid of it. Total pieces gone at the end: 11.

Everyone says it’s good, though. Yay!